School holidays and change overs can be a source of conflict when parents are separated. Communication breakdowns can be expensive – especially if flights or accommodation have been booked on a misunderstanding. Changed plans can cause conflict between separated parents, and does not help co-parenting.

Generally, disputes can be avoided with a clear and well-defined agreed parenting plan.

A parenting plan is an agreed document between parents (or other guardians) who share care for a child. It sets out how the children will be cared for and raised.

The Ministry of Justice’s website has sample parenting plans you can use, with guides to help you think through what needs to be in your plan. Alternatively, a family law expert can assist you with tailoring a plan to your family’s needs.

The main points covered in a parenting plan include:

1. Where and when children spend time with parents or guardians
2. Which school, childcare, or other educational institution the children go to
3. Holiday arrangements
4. Any rules around contact
5. How change-overs between parents will happen
6. Cultural matters
7. Religious matters
8. Health matters and medical needs
9. Pocket money
10. Rules for the children that will apply in both households

A written plan is likely to help avoid disputes because you will both be clear on what’s happening. Your parenting plan can be as detailed or broad-brush as you want it to be. For example, for some families it will prove useful to clarify where and when change-overs will occur for agreed holidays with the non-custodial parent.

Usually, separated parents will be able to agree on a parenting plan between themselves. It may help to attend a Parenting Through Separation course. If help is needed, Family Dispute Resolution services (‘FDR’) can assist parents with forming a plan that works for their family.

If parents agree, a parenting plan may be made into a Consent Order on joint application to the Family Court. This makes the arrangement legally enforceable.

If parents cannot agree, FDR (like mediation) may help them find neutral ground. If FDR does not work, parents can apply to the Court for a Parenting Order.

Please note that Rainey Collins is not contracted to provide Legal Aid, other than in the Treaty of Waitangi area.  We therefore are unable to take on any Civil or Family Legal Aid work. If you require Legal Aid in those areas, you can search the list of Legal Aid lawyers on the Ministry of Justice website.